


Kiss Me When You're Sober

by ColonelSMoran



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Rickyl, daryl is in control, drunk sex basically leads to this, emotional stuff, idk man, kind of a long one shot tbh, rick is absolutely frustrated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 02:23:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3960829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColonelSMoran/pseuds/ColonelSMoran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things have happened between Daryl and Rick - Drunk things that probably shouldn't have happened. Or at least not quite the way they did. Daryl isn't great with words either, but he's a lot better at being in control, because if he screw his up- it's gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss Me When You're Sober

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first time writing Rickyl, and I've been out of practice writing for so long that I'm not even sure how good or bad this is. I woke up at 3:40AM to write it though, so it might be good or it might be really bad??? Excuse me in advance if the characters are a bit OOC- but as far as I'm aware, they're both pretty accurate.  
> Hope you enjoy.  
> Rayne xx

Relaxation is not a thing that comes often once the end of the world is upon you, and you've got an entire group of people counting on you to bring dinner back to them. Which is why when Daryl was put on watch during the late night early morning shift, he was almost ecstatic. Normally during this shift, nothing happened at all - Meaning there was more than enough down time. No walkers, no distractions, nobody to be constantly smothering him all the time as if he's a ticking time bomb - Just him, and the sound of whatever animals were out there in the woods around the prison.

As Daryl climbs up the steps of the guard tower, crossbow slung over one shoulder and his rifle in his hand, he can already hear the calm footsteps behind him. Cursing under his breath he pushed inside the tower.

Couldn't he just have one shift where nobody fucked with him?

Once he settled down inside, Daryl hoped to himself that the footsteps would just continue on.

_Don't stop at the guard tower - Don't come up here - Don't bother me._

All of that went out the window though when the clanking of boots could be heard coming up the stairs, not too quietly either. Couldn't even get one night alone...

"Daryl, I need to talk to ya'."

Of all the people, Daryl thought to himself, it had to be _Rick_? Did the universe really hate him that much, or had he done something wrong to piss someone off upstairs, and this was how he was being punished?

Leaning back in the chair with a dramatic sigh, Daryl slowly spun in it and made a hand gesture as if to say, 'Well get on with it already' - _Because obviously you aren't going to leave me alone until you do, so just spit it out._

-

_It hadn't been all too subtle, the way Rick and Daryl had been treating each other for the past few weeks. And of course, living in such close quarters with everyone else in the prison, both men had been asked their fair share of questions - Normally just brushed off with a shrug, or a quick, "I don't want to talk about it" which typically told everyone not to push the subject._

-

"Daryl, I'm being serious." Rick sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his pointer finger and thumb, kneading at it as Daryl sighed again. "We've gotta talk about what happened."

At that point in time, Daryl no longer wished he'd gotten stuck with this shift. He briefly wished for the afternoon shift right before nightfall - The shift where Maggie or Beth would normally come up and pester him about pointless things instead - Or maybe Hershel, asking him about the hunt lately, giving more quotes of life than Daryl actually needed to hear. Any other shift would be good enough, as long as it didn't involve Rick coming up here and talking to him about this.

Because even Daryl had no idea what the hell had happened - It was just... a _thing_.

-

_"It's starting to get dark. We can't risk going back to t'prison in this, Rick."_

_"Saw a cabin about two miles back - Didn't look like too many walkers around it. We could always stay there until morning. Take turns watching out."_

_With a nod they started walking back, no other words or questions from either man. Just a comfortable silence between them as they walked._

-

Daryl had to admit that Rick was right. They did need to talk about this.

That didn't mean Daryl wanted to talk about it though, which is why he took to chewing on his thumb nail instead. "Whatcha wanna talk 'bout it for? What happened, _happened_. Ain't no way t'change it."

With a sharp glare in Daryl's direction, Rick was the one who sighed this time, shaking his head. "I think you're gettin' the wrong idea, Daryl-"

"What kinda wrong idea am I gettin'? Shouldn't have happened- I get it. Ain't gotta tell me twice, Rick. I ain't no kid." Daryl was almost offended now as Rick threw up his hands in a last effort to get Daryl to shut the hell up so he could actually explain.

-

_The cabin was home to two lone walkers- Probably were lovers at some point before all this shit, Daryl thought to himself._

_With ease, Rick and Daryl took out the walkers and tugged the bodies outside, working around each other like they'd been doing it all of their lives. But they hadn't. Living so close to someone though, it makes you get used to a thing like this._

_Putting up the proper barricades, raiding the house for food, medicine, blankets, and even clothes, the two men met back up in the living room. "Got a few cans of stuff, an'found a shirt you might like." Daryl said as he held it out to Rick. It would probably fit Daryl if he tried it on, honestly. He'd much rather give it to Rick though. That man went through far too many shirts, between the tears and the tatters- or even Judith's baby puke. He could use it far more than Daryl._

_Rick smiled as he took the shirt and muttered a thank you, holding out a bottle now. "Found a bottle a'whiskey. Figured we might as well relax if we're stuck here for t'night." Daryl couldn't help but to crack a smile as he took the bottle._

-

"I ain't sayin' it _shouldn't_ have happened, Daryl. Just... let me finish." It was clear as day that Rick was getting rather impatient as he watched Daryl open his mouth again, holding up his hand to silence him before even a word could come out. "I'm not sayin' it shouldn't have happened - I'm sayin' it shouldn't have happened _like that_."

Now, there weren't many things that could surprise a Dixon. Especially Daryl Dixon. But Rick never ceased to amaze him at his ability to say some crazy shit, always taking Daryl off his guard, and leaving something burning in his head.

Like now, for instance.

"Shouldn't have happened like _what_?" Daryl asked in a gruff voice, taking to crossing his arms over his chest now, trying to keep away from gnawing on his nails anymore than he already had.

_All it does is make ya' look nervous anyways, ya'damn fool._

The silence at the question had Daryl worried more than it should have, honestly. 

_Shouldn't have happened like what, Rick. Fuckin' tell me already! Stop leaning on the damn door like it's not a big deal!_

"It shouldn't have happened when we were _drunk_ in a _cabin_ , hiding out and fearing for our _lives_."

"People are always the most honest when they're drunk.." Daryl mumbled under his breath before swiveling back around in the chair, keeping watch on the walker buildups on the fence.

-

_It wasn't a small bottle by any means - And both men, having not had a drink in so long, were more than feeling it after they'd split the alcohol fair and square, half and half. Meaning each men were more than slightly drunk._

_"Y'know, Carol s'pretty nice. Think she's got a thing for you." Rick said with a laugh, leaning back against their makeshift home of the night, better known as a reclining chair covered in a ridiculous amount of blankets and pillows._

_Snorting and giving his head a shake, Daryl couldn't help but to join in with Rick's laughter. "Stop." He teased, waving his hand around. "Ain't got a thing for her no ways. More like'a sister t'me."_

_Carol was sweet, but she wasn't Rick by any means._

_As their laughter subsided and Daryl laid on his half of the blankets and pillows that covered the majority of the living room's flooring, he caught himself staring sideways at Rick._

_More than likely caught by Rick also, who was looking more than ready to join Daryl on the floor now. It wasn't even five minutes, and Rick was down there, so close to Daryl that he could smell the alcohol coming out with every exhale._

_Too close._

_Suffocating._

_"Yer thinkin' too much. Calm down." Rick's calm voice was like some kind of vice._

_Daryl needed it - Needed Rick to calm him down._

_And so he did._

-

"I wasn't drunk." Daryl tried again, weakly trying to defend himself. It was a lie though. They had both been drunk, without any doubt, and Rick knew that damn good and well.

"Daryl.." Rick started, taking a step towards the chair. "M'not yellin' at ya'. M'not mad. I just wish it'd happened a lot differently than it did." Resting a hand on Daryl's shoulder and turning him back around now so they were face to face.

And now it was Daryl's turn to be silent, waiting to see just how nervous Rick could actually get. To Daryl's surprise, it didn't take long to get his answer. Feeling Rick's fingers starting to tap on his shoulders gently, it was more than a clear sign that Rick was restless.

 _Well that's what the hell you get for coming up here and doing this shit right now_ , Daryl thought to himself as he scoffed.

"Rick, what t'fuck are we even? An don't you go an say 'brothers', cause that's a load of _shit_ , and y'know it just as well as I do."

-

_"Y'taste jus' as good as I knew ya' would." Rick breathed out between the kisses, rolling his hips absentmindedly into Daryl's thigh now as they lay there, both shirtless, on their blankets - and christ, Daryl thought he'd die at any second now._

_"Can't tell me you been thinkin' bout what I'd taste like- Have ya'?" Daryl asked curiously, his eyes never leaving Rick's._

_Daryl didn't receive a straight out answer. Instead another kiss pressed to his lips seemed to be quite enough for both of them right now, rutting against each other like a couple of fuckin' teenagers in highschool. They kept at that for a good while- Daryl wasn't even sure how long it'd been - Up until the point where Daryl couldn't take it anymore._

_"Rick, please."_

_No more words were needed from either of them. None other than little moans and gasps of pleasure between each kiss, and the faint murmurs of each other's name as Rick pushed into Daryl and sets himself a pace. Each of them come undone in absolutely no time._

-

As Rick's hand stilled against his shoulder, Daryl could tell he didn't have a proper answer to the question. For a moment, he wondered why he hadn't just shook Rick's hand off, and left by now.

And... _Why hadn't he_? He didn't have to sit here and get some shitty talk about something they both did out of basic human nature.

Giving his shoulder a good jolt as Rick's hand fell off of it, Daryl picked up his crossbow and moved for the door. He wasn't in the mood to deal with this. If Rick wanted to be up here bothering him, he could take the damn shift. Daryl would take his in the early morning.

_"Don't go."_

It wasn't a _demand_.

It wasn't a _question_.

It was a _plea_ for Daryl to stay.

Stopping in the doorway now and waiting for some better reason for him to stay to come out of Rick's mouth, he leaned against the framework now as he listened to Rick behind him.

The man was so stressed, so worried- Daryl could practically hear every single thing that was going through his head.

"Yer thinkin' too loud. Calm down." Daryl said under his breath now, he let the crossbow strap fall down his shoulder to the crook of his arm, and then to his hand, setting it gently on the floor as he turned around.

This still didn't change the fact that Rick hadn't fucking answered him.

It also didn't change the fact that Daryl wanted to leave - that he'd much rather be sleeping in his cell right now instead of dealing with any of this bullshit.

"What _are we_ , Rick?" Daryl asked again, and now it was his turn to invade Rick's personal space, taking a few steps closer until the tips of their boots were nearly touching. "Cause this ain't t'first time it's happened, an it ain't fair that we keep doin' this shit to ourselves."

Rick's expression let Daryl know that he wasn't wrong. Each and every time that this happened, they'd go through the same song and dance. Most of the time though, it didn't end up in _kisses_ and _sex_. Normally it'd just be a mutual rub off against each other, desperate to get some kind of release to help slow their brains down for just an hour.

But now that it _had_ come to the kisses and the sex, Rick was just as scared as Daryl was.

_Think a little louder, Rick, Daryl thought to himself, If you're thoughts get any damn louder, t'whole fuckin' prison is gonna hear you._

"What do _you_ want us to be?" Rick's voice wasn't as strong or harsh as it normally was. It seemed like he could never take that tone with Daryl, which was quite the relief. But there he went again, taking Daryl off guard, _the mother fucker_. What kind of question was that?

How the hell was Daryl supposed to know what the fuck he wanted them to be? It wasn't like he'd actually done this kinda stuff before anyways- The touching, the being close to each other, the feeling- It wasn't something he had any experience with at all.

Now there'd been boys and girls in high school that Daryl had quite liked. But that didn't mean that he'd actually had the balls to ask them out for a date or anything like that. Even if he had, something about, ' _I ain't goin' out with a Dixon boy!_ ', would generally be said, and that'd be the end of that.

Rick was just watching him now, and christ, that made Daryl so fucking nervous. It made his skin crawl with anxiety.

_Why'd he have to stare at him like that, like he could hear everything that was going through his head?_

"Stop it." Daryl ordered, and he'd almost surprised himself with the tone he'd taken - How harsh it'd been. Had he ever talked to _Rick_ like that? Hell, had he even talked to anyone like that since... _Merle_.

"I'm just askin' you the answer to the question you wanted from me- Y'asked what we were, an I want us t'be whatever _you_ want, Daryl." Rick countered with his arms now crossed over his chest. That made Daryl want to punch him right in the face. _What gave Rick the fuckin' right..._

In just a moment, Daryl's hand stung, and he could hear the cursing coming from Rick's mouth as he took a few steps back and braced himself on the watch tower's counter with one hand, the other pressed to his mouth.

"I said fuckin' s-stop askin' me that s-shit." Daryl growled now, cradling his hand to his chest. Rick's face had hurt a good deal more than he'd actually planned for it to - That, and the fact that it'd been a very, _very_ long time since Daryl had actually punched someone in the face.

It was almost as if he couldn't breathe now - Rick was _far_ too close to him, the room was _far_ too small, the weight of the decision was just _too much_.

Daryl was going to be absolutely sick to his stomach.

Pushing out of the room, ignoring the calls from Rick for him to stay, Daryl rushed down the stairs until his feet touched the somewhat dead grass that was in the prison yard. Not even a second later and Daryl's knees met with the hard ground, and his gut churned before the stomach acid and can of beans he'd had earlier came burning up his throat. In Daryl's opinion, this was far worse than suffocating or being trapped in that tiny room with Rick's pressing fucking questions.

 _Fuck him for that by the way_ , Daryl thought to himself as another wave swept over him. _Definitely fuck Rick for this shit_.

Rick wasn't quiet about when he came down minutes later, nursing his bloody lip and giving Daryl the common courtesy of some space and alone time, figuring he was what had brought this on.

_Good job on figuring that one out, pal._

Dragging the back of his hand over his mouth now in a half-assed attempt to clean off whatever was there, Daryl straightened himself up, and heard a sigh of relief behind him which annoyed him more than the waves of nasuea that were washing over him.

"Can I get you anything?"

_Some peace at mind would be really nice, y'know?_

"Water." Daryl croaked as he stood himself up, wavering a bit, which caused Rick to grab his elbow to steady him out. "Don't need yer fuckin' _help_." Daryl snapped, snatching his arm away, more than offended that _now_ was the time Rick decided to be nice. But when feelings were being discussed, Rick hadn't even thought of being this kind, taking Daryl into consideration in the slightest. 

Getting a good collection of spit, swishing it around his mouth in an attempt to get the taste out, Daryl winced as he started coughing again. Christ, Rick was still there- Why wasn't he going to get the water? Why the hell was he still sitting here, just inches from putting his hand on Daryl's shoulder?

_Just go get the fuckin' water already. Don't need you hoverin' round me like some mother hen._

-

Bottle of water in hand with Rick and Daryl both settled back down in the watch tower now, the foul taste fading from the hunter's mouth, the silence was killing them both. Offering up the bottle to Rick, Daryl had to stop himself from smiling when he accepted it. Taking a swig and capping it back off, Rick just held onto it and stared back out the window instead of looking back at Daryl like he'd been doing just before, in the form of short glances.

"I don't know what t'hell I want us to be. Y'can't just... Y'can't leave that decision to me. I can't make that up all on my own." Daryl struggled with his words, clearly distressed, his brows knitting together and confusion, and dammit he was so _frustrated_.

He should be better with words. He should be less affected by this kind of shit, like Rick seems to be. He shouldn't be so _god damn weak._

That seemed to get Rick's attention well enough though, and soon Daryl was being stared down once more. "Well then.. Let's figure it out then. Right now. 'Cause I can't keep brushing people off about it, and tellin' them there's nothing." Rick rubbed his hands palm down on his pants, clearing the sweat from them before taking a long breath. "Cause there's somethin' there, Daryl. I ain't gonna lie to ya'."

Sick- Daryl felt sick again.

_Don't you fucking dare get sick now. Sit here and sort this out with him and then you can go puke up whatever's left in your stomach._

_There's something there._

What the hell was _something_ though? "What kinda somethin' are we talkin' about?" Daryl wasn't even sure he wanted to know the answer to that question. Maybe he shouldn't have asked it after all. And before he had the chance to take it back, Rick was already holding up his hand to stop him again, making Daryl's lips press in a firm line of annoyance.

" _Somethin'_ is.. some kinda feelings. Like y'know-" Giving a wave of his hand to try and explain, he sighed in defeat when Daryl just looked more confused rather than enlightened. "I like ya', Daryl. Might even say _love_ ya'."

The new wave of silence that washed over them was filled with the brief puffs of breaths that now were coming from Daryl's throat, and he cursed at himself. He hadn't had an anxiety attack in so fuckin' long- and this shouldn't be happening. Not here, and not now. 

 

"Y'can- Rick, y'can't just come out an-an say some shit like that!" Daryl scolded as his breath caught in his throat, his pupils blown far wider than was normal for him.

_Don't be sick - Don't pass out - Don't fucking ruin this. Pull yourself together and stop being a mess, you moron._

"You can't just come out an do that kinda stuff!" Repeating it again for good measure, Daryl tried to keep his breaths in check- once again, the feeling of suffocation trying to settle over him.

_1-2-3 in. 1-2-3-4-5-6 out. Repeat._

"What else was I supposed to do? Splay you out here on the blankets in the moonlight and make love to you, an tell you how much you mean to me? Cause I'm not sure you'd have liked that idea either." Rick countered, and Daryl had to admit he probably wasn't completely wrong. It might have been a slightly exciting thing, but he had to give it to Rick - _This_ was more their style anyways.

Shaking his head and giving a short and soft laugh, Daryl furiously ran a hand through his shaggy hair, unable to really think of something else to say. With the way his brain was scattered right now, he was surprised he could even remember to blink and breathe for that matter. 

"Thinkin' too loud again." Came Rick's soft reminder, and once again, he was on the verge of getting punched again. Maybe this time his nose would end up broken.

 _Yes Rick, thank you. Because as if I'm not here, stuck in my head with my own thoughts. I know just how loud they get, you smartass_ \- Daryl thought to himself before closing his eyes and sighing.

"You're _talkin'_ too much. Too many questions an'shit. Thought this kinda stuff was supposed to be _romantic_ or some shit?" It was more of a teasing statement, really. He hadn't meant to pull together a look on Rick's face that looked like he'd done something severely wrong. Daryl was almost confused when _he_ started feeling guilty - after all the shit Rick had put him through tonight, this one thing was going to make him feel bad? "Come on. Now yer thinkin' too loud!"

This was ridiculous. How was it that two hours had gone by, and neither of them had covered really any ground at all?

This wasn't as easy as Daryl had heard it would be in his younger years. But then again, he supposed it was different when it was two grown men in the end of the world- and not a teenage boy and a girl in highschool, both of which were spoiled by their families.

They sat there, opposite walls of the watch tower, a blanket underneath both of them as some sort of cushion against the hard and rather chilly metal floor. Glances were being stolen, and sighs were being given very freely between the two. And it was fucking driving Daryl insane.

Kicking angrily at Rick's shoe, he gave a grunt. "Get over here, y'idiot." He said, patting the space beside him on the floor. "An bring that blanket too."

It was clear that Rick nearly made an effort to lazily kick Daryl's boot in return, but the thought was completely lost once he was beckoned over. Scooting quickly as if his spot would be filled by the time he got there, Rick pulled the blanket over and sat next to Daryl. Close enough to be known, but not close enough to smother- which Daryl was silently thankful for.

The next few moves, Daryl had to do in _his_ own time - And in his opinion, _nothing_ could go wrong at all.

Meaning when he carefully placed an arm around Rick's shoulder and pulled him in closer, Daryl had to be careful. Waiting to make sure Rick wouldn't pull away, that's when he pulled him closer- ever so slightly at a time.

It felt like centuries had gone by before Rick's head finally laid on Daryl's broad shoulder, and both of them gave a content sigh.

Seconds, minutes- maybe even an hour went by before either of them bothered to make a move. And of course, the next move was Daryl's doing once more. Reaching up with his free hand that wasn't currently resting on Rick's side, he hooked it underneath a stubble covered chin, and tugged up in the direction of his own face. Both of their movements were so slow, so careful, as if any second the moment would be absolutely gone- never able to return.

_"I love you, Daryl."_

That was the only thing of all of this that Daryl didn't have control of. What Rick felt- What he said...

Pausing when their noses were just brushing together, breath mingling with each other's, Daryl stopped. It was clear in just that brief second that Rick was starting to panic, like by telling Daryl how he felt, he'd ruined it.

With a laugh under his breath, Daryl nodded. "I know ya' love me. Said that already."

And then there was the kiss. It was their first shared kiss where they were both sober. It was by far the most important thing that had happened to Daryl in quite a long time. Rick's stubble almost tickled Daryl's face as their lips moved together like pieces of a puzzle falling down - almost like that dumb Tetris game that he always used to hear about from all the people in school.

After _so many_ mistakes, moving those blocks the wrong way- They'd finally gotten it right.

Daryl was still leading, pulling Rick closer or pushing him away. Speeding up, or slowing down. It was all in his control, and Rick had absolutely no problem with letting it go like that- because when they broke apart, the smile that Daryl was wearing was worth all the wait.

"I love ya' too, _stupid sheriff_."

**Author's Note:**

> So there it was! I know it's more of just spaces rather than words, but hey- I like to think that I made quite the impact through my words!  
> All feedback is welcomed, as long as you aren't rude about it - and also, Rickyl prompts are totally welcomed also!  
> Thank you for reading, and I'll see you all next time!  
> Rayne xx


End file.
